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Labor of Love: The Invention of Dating, by Moira Weigel
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Review
"An addictive and accessible read." ―Amy Finnerty, The New York Times"Weigel is best when dismantling pop theories through the ages. She brilliantly eviscerates the self-help industry for stoking 'mutual mystification' between the sexes, and unearths intriguing continuities like the way technological advances (including the invention of the automobile) have always led to hand-wringing over the moral bankruptcy of youth . . . Fascinating." ―Jenna Wortham,The New York Times Book Review"[A] perceptive and wide-ranging investigation into the history of dating in America." ―Alexandra Schwartz, The New Yorker"The lack of serious conversation about dating has left Weigel with rich territory to explore, and she makes excellent use of it . . . [and her] deliciously incisive observations run throughout the book, making it a thoroughly enjoyable read . . . Weigel presents an insightful analysis of a topic that has largely been left to hucksters and scolds. By commodifying our deepest emotions, Weigel shows how the 'experts' turned dating into a job requiring calculation and deception, but not much love. Maybe it’s time to give notice." ―Sara Eckel, The Washington Post"[Moira Weigel] makes an entirely convincing case that there never was and never will be one static way of dating." ―Willa Paskin, The Guardian"[A] sprightly, gently feminist history . . . offer[ing] useful perspectives on dating as both an art and a historical construct." ―Julia M. Kline, The Chicago Tribune"An occasionally amusing and often provocative look at the work of wooing . . . [A] lively tour of changing romantic mores." ―The Economist"Much juicier than your average history book . . . [it] reads like a documentary about something you never knew could be so interesting." ―BUST "[A] smart, refreshing take on the history of dating." ―Publishers Weekly"Labor of Love makes its case as cheerfully as it does compellingly. Weigel’s book is both intense and lighthearted, by turns easy and surprising, offering momentary delights as well as subtle hints about the future. It’s everything, really, that a good date should be." ―The Atlantic"A radical Marxist feminist tract disguised as a salmon-pink self-help book." ―Laurie Penny, The New Statesman"[Moira Weigel's] fresh and often amusing feminist perspective is delightfully interrogative ― and endlessly fascinating." ―Refinery 29"[A] riveting chronicle of courtship in modern America." ―Entertainment Weekly"Weigel successfully crafts a theorization of the 'date' as a longstanding site of morphing relations of reproductive labor. . . always show[ing] compellingly that the slippage between romantic and pecuniary matters is altogether nothing new." ―Sophie Lewis, Blindfield Journal"Labor of Love is remarkable at many levels: Formally, with its interweaving of theory, personal anecdote and social history. Politically, the way it deftly manages to say hugely important things about power and money that so often get left out of the discourse on love. And most of all, it's elegantly written, fun and plain hugely readable." ―Alain de Botton, author of The Course of Love“Moira Weigel’s Labor of Love rescues the subject of dating from its Trojan horse of triviality. It illuminates the social stakes of feelings too often misunderstood as private or peripheral: romantic desire, romantic frustration, and the shame of caring too much about either one. Witty, lively, and deftly―refreshingly―attentive to largely untold histories, Labor of Love has constructed a dazzling tour of the public infrastructure of our private lives. You will never swipe right the same way again.†―Leslie Jamison, author of The Empathy Exams “Labor of Love is a work of essential social history. This is by far the best treatment of courtship, romance, and that awkward squirmy ritual we call a ‘date’ I’ve ever read.†―Christian Rudder, author of Datacylsm: Who We Are (When We Think No One's Looking) and founder of OkCupid“As compulsively readable as any self-help dating book, Moira Weigel's Labor of Love is an original, exhaustive study of courtship in the United States across two centuries. As Weigel finds, advances in technology don't necessarily equate with mores: women still serve as the assigned arbiters and police of all things sexual, from holding hands to giving birth. But more than polemic, Labor of Love is a heartfelt work, written from and speaking to the need for intimate connection that animates our willingness to navigate these complex and contradictory codes.†―Chris Kraus, author of I Love Dick“Labor of Love is a brilliant history of courtship, love, and sex that is also a brilliant investigation into profound changes in the nature of American work, leisure, consumer society, education, and city life over the twentieth-century and into the new millennium. Elegantly written, gratifyingly clear-eyed, and sharply funny, it restores the essential strangeness of dating, while expertly navigating the fraught contemporary debates over its meaning.†―Nikil Saval, author of Cubed: A Secret History of the Workplace“Instead of going out tonight, do yourself a favor: stay in and read this book. Moira Weigel and her genre-bending history of dating are excellent, illuminating company.†―Astra Taylor, author of The People’s Platform and director of Examined Life and Zizek!
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About the Author
Moira Weigel was born in Brooklyn. Her writing has appeared in The Guardian, The Nation, The New Republic, n+1, and The New Inquiry, among other publications, and she is currently completing a PhD in Comparative Literature at Yale University. After years of first-person research on dating, she is off the market. Labor of Love is her first book.
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Product details
Paperback: 320 pages
Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux; Reprint edition (August 22, 2017)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 9780374536954
ISBN-13: 978-0374536954
ASIN: 0374536953
Product Dimensions:
5.5 x 0.9 x 8.3 inches
Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.0 out of 5 stars
40 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#262,068 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
This book is absolutely incredible and you must read it. I've been binge-reading it for the past 24 hours, almost done at this point, and have already emailed or texted 5 people that they must get it ASAP. It has upended some of my long-held convictions of what's "traditional". It has touched upon and tied together all the recent trends - from "Marry Him" to "Rules" to online dating and many others. It added fascinating, often funny and sometimes painful (e.g. AIDS epidemic) historical narratives. It has put words to feelings I've long tried to express myself - the despair of having to play a certain role in dating and suppressing my desires in every step. Most importantly, it has framed what I have long thought of as my personal issues as societal changes or problems at large. I know I will keep thinking about this book for a while, will keep recommending it to others, and will undoubtedly reread it. Many thanks to the author for all the work (and heart) that has gone into researching and writing this book.
Anyone who is single and finds him or herself on a Friday night apathetically "swiping" and wondering, "how did I get here" should read this book. The answer for how to do something different is not necessarily in its pages but you can take comfort that being single isn't necessarily as bad or as personally a fault as one may think. It's also a fascinating sociological study about culture constructing how we search for love and what we think we are searching for.
What a wonderful read! Labor of Love is a fanscinating exploration of how dating has evolved in response to economic, social, and cultural shifts over the last 100 years. While the book is well researched and certainly a serious intellectual exploration of the subject matter, drawing on over 100 years of material, it's hilarious and entirely accessible. I honestly couldn't put it down. Would give it 100 stars if I could!
A good overview of the modern invention of dating and how the institution escaped the early charges of prostitution. In this current time where people are voting because one man-one woman is their belief of history it should be more popular.
Thoughtful, well researched, articulate and thought-provoking. This is the best overview of dating and the history of dating that I've ever read. I highly recommend this book.
What a great read--intelligent, timely and written with such flair and wit; the depth and rigor of Weigel's research is highly impressive. Although it may be sobering to accept the reality of economic forces invading our intimate relationships, I am glad have a much better understanding of what my children and nephews are faced with today. I will no longer ask them, "Why don't you just take her on a date?"
Five stars! This was a compelling read - Weigel really digs deep into our culture and will make you think about how you think about love (or how you haven't thought about it!). Well-written and well researched with some new information. On a personal level, I have experienced a great deal of growth in my years of dating - this book sheds a great deal of light on where some of my frustrations have originated. As long as there are others who are ready to work and change the social norms, I think we are on the right track!
This is a great example of how capitalism has structurally and mechanically changed our lives for the worse.
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